What is Trauma Bonding?
Trauma bonding is a term used to describe the process of forming an emotional connection with someone who is struggling with traumatic life experiences. The process is thought to be driven by our subconscious mind, which attempts to resolve old wounds by finding someone who triggers painful memories from the past. This could be someone who reminds us of a parent who never listened, an abusive partner, or a childhood bully.
Why is Trauma Attractive?
It is a paradox that we might find ourselves drawn to people who bring up painful and traumatic memories from our past. This is known as trauma bonding, where we develop strong emotional ties to someone who is dealing with the same kind of trauma that we experienced in our childhood. This can be a dangerous cycle, as we become more and more attached to the person, and this attachment can prevent us from getting the help we need to heal our own traumas.
It is thought that our subconscious mind is attempting to resolve old wounds by finding someone who triggers painful memories. This could be someone who reminds us of a parent who never listened, an abusive partner, or a childhood bully. While this may seem counterintuitive, as we would never want to relive those painful memories, there is a logic to it. Our subconscious mind is trying to recreate the trauma in an attempt to resolve it.
The Dangers of Trauma Bonding
While we may be drawn to people who trigger our past traumas, it is important to remember that trauma bonding can be dangerous. It can lead to unhealthy relationships, as we become more and more attached to the person, and this attachment can prevent us from getting the help we need to heal our own traumas. Furthermore, it can lead to a cycle of abuse, as the person we are bonded to may not have the resources or understanding to help us heal our traumas.
Breaking the Cycle of Trauma Bonding
Breaking the cycle of trauma bonding can be difficult, especially if we have become deeply attached to the person. However, there are steps that can be taken to help us break the cycle of trauma bonding.
Talk to Someone
One of the first steps to breaking the cycle of trauma bonding is to talk to someone about the situation. This could be a friend, family member, or even a therapist. Talking through the situation can help to make sense of why we are drawn to this person, and can help us work out how to break the cycle.
Find Healthy Outlets
It is also important to find healthy outlets for our emotions. This could include hobbies, exercise, or any other activity that makes us feel good. Focusing on these activities can help to distract us from the person we are bonding with, and can help us to build healthier relationships.
Focus on Self-Care
Finally, it is important to focus on self-care. This could include getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and taking time to relax. Taking care of our own emotional and physical needs can help us to stay strong and break the cycle of trauma bonding.
Breaking the cycle of trauma bonding can be a difficult and complex process. However, by talking to someone, finding healthy outlets, and focusing on self-care, we can start to break the cycle of trauma bonding and move forward with our lives.
