Overview
Compulsive sexual behavior is sometimes called hypersexuality, hypersexuality disorder or sexual addiction. It’s an excessive preoccupation with sexual fantasies, urges or behaviors that is difficult to control, causes you distress, or negatively affects your health, job, relationships or other parts of your life.
Compulsive sexual behavior may involve a variety of commonly enjoyable sexual experiences. Examples include masturbation, cybersex, multiple sexual partners, use of pornography or paying for sex. When these sexual behaviors become a major focus in your life, are difficult to control, and are disruptive or harmful to you or others, they may be considered compulsive sexual behavior.
No matter what it’s called or the exact nature of the behavior, untreated compulsive sexual behavior can damage your self-esteem, relationships, career, health and other people. But with treatment and self-help, you can learn to manage compulsive sexual behavior.
Symptoms
Some indications that you may be struggling with compulsive sexual behavior include:
- You have recurrent and intense sexual fantasies, urges and behaviors that take up a lot of your time and feel as if they’re beyond your control.
- You feel driven to do certain sexual behaviors, feel a release of the tension afterward, but also feel guilt or remorse.
- You’ve tried unsuccessfully to reduce or control your sexual fantasies, urges or behavior.
- You use compulsive sexual behavior as an escape from other problems, such as loneliness, depression, anxiety or stress.
- You continue to engage in sexual behaviors that have serious consequences, such as the potential for getting or giving someone else a sexually transmitted infection, the loss of important relationships, trouble at work, financial strain, or legal problems.
- You have trouble establishing and maintaining healthy and stable relationships.
When to see a doctor
Seek help if you feel you’ve lost control of your sexual behavior, especially if your behavior causes problems for you or other people. Compulsive sexual behavior tends to escalate over time, so get help when you first recognize there may be a problem.
As you decide whether to seek professional help, ask yourself:
- Can I manage my sexual impulses?
- Am I distressed by my sexual behaviors?
- Is my sexual behavior hurting my relationships, affecting my work or resulting in negative consequences, such as getting arrested?
- Do I try to hide my sexual behavior?
Seeking help for compulsive sexual behavior can be difficult because it’s such a deeply personal matter. Try to:
- Set aside any shame or embarrassment and focus on the benefits of getting treatment.
- Remember that you’re not alone — many people struggle with compulsive sexual behavior. Mental health professionals are trained to be understanding and discreet. But not all mental health professionals are experienced in treating compulsive sexual behavior, so make sure you find a therapist who is competent in this area.
- Keep in mind what you say to a doctor or mental health professional is kept confidential, except in cases where you report that you’re going to hurt yourself or someone else, you report sexual abuse of a child, or you report abuse or neglect of someone in a vulnerable population.
Seek treatment right away
Seek immediate treatment if:
- You think you may cause harm with uncontrolled sexual behavior
- You have other problems with impulse control, and you feel like your sexual behavior is slipping out of control
- You are suicidal — if you’re thinking of attempting suicide, call 911 or your local emergency number, or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (in the United States) at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
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Causes
Although the causes of compulsive sexual behavior are unclear, they may include:
- An imbalance of natural brain chemicals. Certain chemicals in your brain (neurotransmitters) such as serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine help regulate your mood. High levels may be related to compulsive sexual behavior.
- Changes in brain pathways. Compulsive sexual behavior may be an addiction that, over time, might cause changes in the brain’s neural circuits, especially in the reinforcement centers of the brain. Like other addictions, more-intensive sexual content and stimulation are typically required over time in order to gain satisfaction or relief.
- Conditions that affect the brain. Certain diseases or health problems, such as epilepsy and dementia, may cause damage to parts of the brain that affect sexual behavior. In addition, treatment of Parkinson’s disease with some dopamine agonist medications may cause compulsive sexual behavior.
Risk factors
Compulsive sexual behavior can occur in both men and women, though it may be more common in men. It can also affect anyone, regardless of sexual orientation. Factors that may increase risk of compulsive sexual behavior include:
- Ease of access to sexual content. Advances in technology and social media allow access to increasingly intensive sexual imagery and information.
- Privacy. Secrecy and privacy of compulsive sexual activities tend to allow these problems to worsen over time.
Also, an increased risk of compulsive sexual behavior may occur in people who have:
- Alcohol or drug abuse problems
- Another mental health condition, such as a mood disorder (such as depression or anxiety), or a gambling addiction
- Family conflicts or family members with problems such as addiction
- A history of physical or sexual abuse
Complications
Compulsive sexual behavior can have many negative consequences that affect both you and others. You may:
- Struggle with feelings of guilt, shame and low self-esteem
- Develop other mental health conditions, such as depression, suicide, severe distress and anxiety
- Neglect or lie to your partner and family, harming or destroying meaningful relationships
- Lose your focus or engage in sexual activity or search internet pornography at work, risking your job
- Accumulate financial debts buying pornography and sexual services
- Contract HIV, hepatitis or another sexually transmitted infection or pass a sexually transmitted infection to someone else
- Engage in unhealthy substance use, such as using recreational drugs or drinking excessive alcohol
- Be arrested for sexual offenses
Prevention
Because the cause of compulsive sexual behavior isn’t known, it’s not clear how it might be prevented, but a few things may help keep this type of behavior in check:
- Get help early for problems with sexual behavior. Identifying and treating early symptoms may help prevent compulsive sexual behavior from getting worse over time or escalating into a downward spiral of shame, relationship problems and harmful acts.
- Seek treatment early for mental health disorders. Compulsive sexual behavior may be worsened by depression or anxiety.
- Identify and seek help for alcohol and drug abuse problems. Substance abuse can cause a loss of control and unhappiness that can lead to poor judgment and may push you toward unhealthy sexual behaviors.
- Avoid risky situations. Don’t jeopardize your health or that of others by putting yourself into situations where you’ll be tempted to engage in risky sexual practices.
Recognising sex addiction in women
People often think that sex and pornography addiction is experienced mainly in men. This is partly down to numerous male celebrities having historically explained their infidelities with an admission of sex addiction. However, female sex addicts are common too. Women addicted to sex will experience the same symptoms as men, participating in risky behaviours to satisfy their compulsion. Although women sex addicts may more commonly feel guilt and remorse, it does not make it easier to control their sexual behaviour.
What is a sex addict?
The distinction between acceptable sexual behaviour and addictive sexual behaviour can be difficult to determine. However, all addictions have common traits at their core. These include an obsession and constant preoccupation with the addictive substance or behaviour, engaging in dangerous activities to satisfy the compulsion, and continuing the behaviour regardless of the consequences. Read more to find out about the specific symptoms of sex addiction.
Sex addiction symptoms
Just like men, sex-addicted women will be obsessive about sex. Both male and female sex addict symptoms involve constantly thinking about sex, trying to find ways to engage in it, or battling the urge to have it.
Female sex addicts will experience the following symptoms:
- Difficulty focusing on subjects other than sex
- Finding thoughts about sex frequently overwhelming
- Feeling unable to control compulsive sexual behaviour
- Feeling unable to stop their behaviour, despite promises to themselves or others
- Neglecting family, relationships, career obligations or other responsibilities to seek out sex
- Frequent feelings of intense guilt, shame and self-loathing over sexual acts or their own thoughts
- Continued sexual behaviour regardless of the consequences
- Participating in risky, possibly illegal, sexual behaviour to satisfy their impulses
Women with a sex addiction rarely gain lasting satisfaction from the activity, yet persist in pursuing sex. They are unlikely to form emotional bonds with their sexual partners, leading to even more intense feelings of loneliness and remorse.
What causes sex addiction?
While the causes of sex addiction aren’t fully understood, a few influencing factors have been identified for female sex addicts.
Research by the Sexual Recovery Institute has shown that there is often a combination of rigidity and lack of emotional support in a female sex addict’s family of origin. Studies have shown that as many as 78% of women sex addicts were sexually abused in childhood.
Other common characteristics of female sex addicts, according to Psych Central, include:
- A pre-existing mental health issue like bipolar disorder (during the manic state), borderline personality disorder or dependent personality disorder
- Severe identity confusion regarding their own sexual orientation
- Experiences of childhood sexual abuse, often repeating patterns of abuse in a subconscious attempt to gain control over their childhood trauma
- Delayed intellectual development in teenagers and young adults, such as those with Asperger’s Syndrome
- A tendency towards addiction, such as an existing issue with substance abuse
Sex Addiction Treatment and Therapy
Women sex addicts will need a combination of therapy and sex education to gain control over their compulsive behaviours. Individual therapy, with therapists who understand sex addiction, can help a female sex addict to stop acting on their compulsions and process the underlying triggers and emotions. An inpatient rehabilitation programme may be necessary to fully overcome sex addiction and achieve long-term recovery.
In addition, 12-step programs such as SLAA, Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA), Sexual Recovery Anonymous (SRA) and Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA) can help women to manage their sexual compulsions in daily life.
In some cases, medications used to treat obsessive-compulsive disorder, such as Prozac, can be prescribed to inhibit the compulsive nature of the sex addiction. This would only be effective alongside a course of therapeutic treatment.
With effective treatment from accredited mental health professionals, any female sex addict can regain control over their day-to-day existence and live a life free from the trauma of addiction.
