Anger management and stress management work in similar ways. One reason for this is because anger and stress both have a psychological component so they can be managed psychologically. Both emotions can affect us in very negative ways, mainly if left unmanaged, and that it is why it is essential to understand their relationship.
Factors That Affect Anger and Stress
Prolonged exposure to anger and stress can take a toll on our physical health. It can raise our blood pressure which instigates other issues that affect us physically and emotionally. It can negatively impact our relationships as well. Beyond that, we can also develop negative habits as a response to excessive levels of anger and stress that become more difficult to control over time. Either of these effects can result in more anxiety.
In order to begin managing the adverse effects of stress and anger, we need to look at how these emotions impact our lives. Stress can lead to anger which can lead to even more stress. Neither feeling is healthy, but we shouldn’t try to eliminate them. Instead, we should attempt to control them by understanding factors that affect anger and stress and coping strategies for better management.
Perception
Certain events can trigger anger or stress in many people. The degree of anger or stress experienced has to do with how a person perceives and interprets what is happening to them.
For example, two people can be cut off in traffic. One person might interpret the gesture as a lack of respect, a threat to their physical safety or as a hostile gesture. This situation makes them angry. Another person may figure that the offending driver didn’t see them or might be wrapped up in their own thoughts, and let the event roll off their back.
In both cases, there was a stimulus, a belief, and a response. The view, or interpretation, of the stimulus, is what led to the different reactions.
Personality Traits
Some people have inborn personality traits that make them more susceptible to anger and stress. Some of these tendencies are seen early in life, but these tendencies can be mitigated.
- Some people are naturally more observant than others. This trait can make them more likely to notice things that might make them angry—things that may go unnoticed by someone else.
- Some people are naturally less comfortable with change, which can also cause stress and anger in certain situations.
- Other people have a low tolerance for frustration and get angrier more easily than others.
Attitudes
Our habitual thought patterns, which can be somewhat altered with practice, contribute to our experience of anger or stress.
Some people tend to interpret things negatively as a matter of habit. They may attribute someone else’s error to malicious or unkind motives, for example. They may take one negative event as a sign that more negative events are to come, which can contribute to anger and stress.
Healthy Coping Strategies
Anger and stress are natural experiences. The way we deal with conditions can make the difference between a healthy and unhealthy life.
With stress, for example, we can’t always prevent stressful events from occurring. However, managing stress through breathing exercises, journaling, or other stress management techniques, we can learn to neutralize the effects of stress.
We can’t always prevent anger from occurring, but we can work through our anger in healthy ways so it does not become a problem. For example, expressing our feelings in respectful ways when they are still manageable can stop them from snowballing into feelings of being enraged or overwhelmed. The other option is to try and “stuff” anger or express it in negative and unhealthy ways. That is when anger does become a problem.
A Word From Verywell
If you’re struggling to manage your anger and stress, consider talking to someone. A licensed mental health professional can help you find healthy ways to deal with your emotions while also addressing any potential underlying causes, such as depression. Learning new coping skills, finding healthy ways to express yourself, and discovering strategies that reduce the intensity of your emotions can help you feel better.
Anger management: 10 tips to tame your temper
Keeping your temper in check can be challenging. Use simple anger management tips — from taking a timeout to using “I” statements — to stay in control.
By Mayo Clinic Staff
Do you fume when someone cuts you off in traffic? Does your blood pressure rocket when your child refuses to cooperate? Anger is a common and even healthy emotion. But it’s important to deal with it in a positive way. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships.
Ready to get your anger under control? Start by considering these 10 anger management tips.
1. Think before you speak
In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say something you’ll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything. Also allow others involved in the situation to do the same.
2. Once you’re calm, express your concerns
As soon as you’re thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.
3. Get some exercise
Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run. Or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.
4. Take a timeout
Timeouts aren’t just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what’s ahead without getting irritated or angry.
5. Identify possible solutions
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child’s messy room make you upset? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening. Or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Also, understand that some things are simply out of your control. Try to be realistic about what you can and cannot change. Remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything and might only make it worse.
6. Stick with ‘I’ statements
Criticizing or placing blame might only increase tension. Instead, use “I” statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, “I’m upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes” instead of “You never do any housework.”
7. Don’t hold a grudge
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. Forgiving someone who angered you might help you both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.
8. Use humor to release tension
Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what’s making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.
9. Practice relaxation skills
When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as “Take it easy.” You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.
10. Know when to seek help
Learning to control anger can be a challenge at times. Seek help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.
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- Kassinove H, et al. Happiness. In: The Practitioner’s Guide to Anger Management: Customizable Interventions, Treatments, and Tools for Clients With Problem Anger. Kindle edition. New Harbinger Publications; 2019. Accessed March 11, 2022.
- Understanding anger: How psychologists help with anger problems. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/understanding. Accessed March 11, 2022.
- Controlling anger before it controls you. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control. Accessed March 11, 2022.
- Tips for survivors: Coping with anger after a disaster or other traumatic event. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. https://store.samhsa.gov/product/tips-survivors-coping-anger-after-disaster-or-other-traumatic-event/pep19-01-01-002. Accessed March 11, 2022.
- Caring for your mental health. National Institute of Mental Health. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/caring-for-your-mental-health. Accessed March 11, 2022.
See more In-depth 
Many of us are facing challenges that can be stressful, overwhelming, and cause strong emotions in adults and children. Public health actions, such as physical distancing, can make us feel isolated and lonely and can increase stress and anxiety.
After a traumatic event, people may have strong and lingering reactions. Learning healthy ways to cope and getting the right care and support can help reduce stressful feelings and symptoms.
The symptoms may be physical or emotional. Common reactions to a stressful event can include:
- Disbelief
- Feelings of fear, shock, anger, sadness, worry, numbness, or frustration
- Changes in appetite, energy, desires, and interests
- Difficulty sleeping or nightmares, concentrating, and making decisions
- Physical reactions, such as headaches, body pains, stomach problems, and skin rashes
- Worsening of chronic health problems
- Worsening of mental health conditions
- Increased use of tobacco, alcohol, and other substances
It is natural to feel stress, anxiety, grief, and worry during traumatic events such as mass shootings, natural disasters, or pandemics. Below are ways that you can help yourself, others, and your community manage stress.
Healthy Ways to Cope with Stress
Feeling emotional and nervous or having trouble sleeping and eating can all be normal reactions to stress. Here are some healthy ways you can deal with stress:
- Take breaks from watching, reading, or listening to news stories, including those on social media. It’s good to be informed but hearing about the traumatic event constantly can be upsetting. Consider limiting news to just a couple of times a day and disconnecting from phone, tv, and computer screens for a while.
- Take care of yourself. Eat healthy, exercise, get plenty of sleep, and give yourself a break if you feel stressed out.
- Take care of your body.
- Take deep breaths, stretch, or meditate.
- Try to eat healthy, well-balanced meals.
- Exercise regularly.
- Get plenty of sleep.
- Avoid excessive alcohol, tobacco, and substance use.
- Continue with routine preventive measures (such as vaccinations, cancer screenings, etc.) as recommended by your healthcare provider.
- Get vaccinated against COVID-19 as soon as possible; get a booster shot if you are age 18 or older.
- Make time to unwind. Try to do some other activities you enjoy.
- Talk to others. Talk with people you trust about your concerns and how you are feeling. Share your problems and how you are feeling and coping with a parent, friend, counselor, doctor, or pastor.
- Connect with your community- or faith-based organizations.
- Avoid drugs and alcohol. These may seem to help, but they can create additional problems and increase the stress you are already feeling.
- Recognize when you need more help. If problems continue or you are thinking about suicide, talk to a psychologist, social worker, or professional counselor.
Check out Taking Care of Your Emotional Health for more information and resources.
Helping Others Cope
Taking care of yourself can better equip you to take care of others. Helping others cope with stress through phone calls or video chats can help you and your loved ones feel less lonely or isolated.
Helping Children and Youth Cope with Stress
Children and youth often struggle with how to cope with stress. Youth can be particularly overwhelmed when their stress is connected to a traumatic event—like a natural disaster, family loss, school shootings, or community violence. Parents, caregivers, and educators can take steps to provide stability and support that help young people feel better.
Tips
Tips for Parents and Caregivers
It is natural for children to worry when scary or stressful events happen in their lives. Talking to your children about these events can help put frightening information into a more balanced setting. Monitor what children see and hear about stressful events happening in their lives. Here are some suggestions to help children cope:
- Maintain a normal routine. Helping children wake up, go to sleep, and eat meals at regular times provide them a sense of stability.
- Talk, listen, and encourage expression. Listen to your child’s thoughts and feelings and share some of yours. After a traumatic event, it is important for children to feel they can share their feelings and that you understand their fears and worries.
- Watch and listen. Be alert for any change in behavior. Any changes in behavior may be signs that your child is having trouble and may need support.
- Stressful events can challenge a child’s sense of safety and security. Reassure your child about his or her safety and well-being. Discuss ways that you, the school, and the community are taking steps to keep them safe.
- Connect with others. Talk to other parents and your child’s teachers about ways to help your child cope. It is often helpful for parents, schools, and health professionals to work together for the well-being of all children in stressful times.
Tips for Kids and Teens
After a traumatic event, it is normal to feel anxious about your safety and security. Even if you were not directly involved, you may worry about whether this type of event may someday affect you. Check out the tips below for some ideas to help deal with these fears.
- Talk to and stay connected to others. Talking with someone you trust can help you make sense out of your experience. If you are not sure where to turn, call your local crisis intervention center or a national hotline.
- Take care of yourself. Try to get plenty of sleep, eat right, exercise, and keep a normal routine.
- Take information breaks. Pictures and stories about a disaster can increase worry and other stressful feelings. Taking breaks from the news, Internet, and conversations about the disaster can help calm you down.
Tips for School Personnel
School personnel can help their students restore their sense of safety by talking with the children about their fears. Other tips for school personnel include:
- Reach out and talk. Create opportunities to have students talk, but do not force them. You can be a model by sharing some of your own thoughts as well as correct misinformation.
- Watch and listen. Be alert for any change in behavior. Are students withdrawing from friends? Acting out? These changes may be early signs that a student is struggling and needs extra support from the school and family.
- Maintain normal routines. A regular classroom and school schedule can provide a sense of stability and safety. Encourage students to keep up with their schoolwork and extracurricular activities but do not push them if they seem overwhelmed.
- Take care of yourself. You are better able to support your students if you are healthy, coping and taking care of yourself first. Eat healthy, exercise, get plenty of sleep, and give yourself a break if you feel stressed out.
Mental Health and Crisis
Resources and Social Support Services
- If you are struggling to cope, there are many ways to get help. Call your healthcare provider if stress gets in the way of your daily activities for several days in a row.
- During times of extreme stress, people may have thoughts of suicide. Suicide is preventable and help is available. More about the risk of suicide, signs to watch for, and how to respond if you notice these signs in yourself or a friend or a loved one, can be found here.
- Free and confidential crisis resources can also help you or a loved one connect with a skilled, trained counselor in your area.
